such a distant, perfect land.

tearing. fighting. beat, beat, beat. circles. concentric. opposite. far, far away. once upon a touch. in sickness and in health, but only when i’m there. unhappy and happy, dysfunctional. torn. pretty pictures. Rip, rip, rip. such a bitter sweet ending. why must everyone know? christmas trees and leprechauns, all through the years. so why? nobody’s fault. nobody’s fault. it is what it is, broken, twisted, forgotten. late nights, early mornings. flowers. unexpected. sweet. comforting. so much pain, so much impending torture. what a regular ending to such a spectacular beginning. then take me, take me, i’m yours. just don’t touch me. calendar on the wall. page after page. ink on my hand, on my sheets. so much emotion. fine, fine, fine. questions in your head. answers in mine. we switch. we dance. we breathe. in corners and under blankets. hidden and exposed. such terrible, terrible torture. take me, i'm yours. give the magic back to me. the power. i am the queen. waiting, waiting, waiting, you will never really know. but neither will i. if only we were in neverland...

turtle!

these are a few of my favorite creatures.
san marcos, texas.
taken march 2009.

flickr uploads

so for some reason when i uploaded my 2-D pictures from flickr they showed up realllllly off-center. sorry 'bout that, guys! : /

final project piece #10

final project piece #10, originally uploaded by Chelseylew.

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
may 2009.

*this is my final art project for my 2-D class!

final project piece #9

final project piece #9, originally uploaded by Chelseylew.

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
may 2009.

*this is my final art project for my 2-D class!

final project piece #8

final project piece #8, originally uploaded by Chelseylew.

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
may 2009.

*this is my final art project for my 2-D class!

final project piece #7

final project piece #7, originally uploaded by Chelseylew.

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
may 2009.

*this is my final art project for my 2-D class!

final project piece #6

final project piece #6, originally uploaded by Chelseylew.

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
may 2009.

*this is my final art project for my 2-D class!

final project piece #5

final project piece #5, originally uploaded by Chelseylew.

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
may 2009.

*this is my final art project for my 2-D class!

final project piece #4

final project piece #4, originally uploaded by Chelseylew.

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
may 2009.

*this is my final art project for my 2-D class!

final project piece #3

final project piece #3, originally uploaded by Chelseylew.

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
may 2009.

*this is my final art project for my 2-D class!

final project piece #2

final project piece #2, originally uploaded by Chelseylew.

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
may 2009.

*this is my final art project for my 2-D class!

final project piece #1

final project piece #1, originally uploaded by Chelseylew.

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
may 2009.

*this is my final art project for my 2-D class!

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

self-portrait 6

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
may 2009.
model: chelsey (myself)

self-portrait 5

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
may 2009.
model: chelsey (myself)

self-portrait 4

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
may 2009.
model: chelsey (myself)

self-portrait 3

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
taken may 2009.
model: chelsey (myself).

self-portrait 2

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
taken may 2009.
model: chelsey (myself).

self-portrait 1

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
taken may 2009.
model: chelsey (myself).

no title [childhood]

small and meek. innocent eyes, curious explorations. fingers reach and reach and reach. grasp. sting. in my mother's long, white nightgown. repeat. sting again. jar of buzzing stripes, angry. confused. we just want to pollinate. mason lets them out. fat, round earthlings. comfortable and squat beneath the birdbath. in the rich, overflowing garden. chirping, scared. meek and needy, just like me. young; define young. big words i'll never understand. making friends for entertainment. snip, snip, hair in the refrigerator. cold. unusual. babysitter on the phone. she's young, too. always try to follow the rules, buy a lollipop. hug a bear. check out a book. how many points did you get? what an accomplishment, what a success. move your clip. little white sparkles blur my vision. go on an adventure. my name repeated in the distance, soothing, comforting. loud music and searching beams of light. racing through hallways, delighted screams. run, run, run. christmas lights in my bedroom. remote control, how exciting. practicing on my tall purple stool, pretend, pretend, pretend. bones uner the bed, trolls on the windowsill. Crystal, Crystal, Crystal. on the other side of the room.

funny how these things leak back in. so poignant. so honest. just like that red hand print on her cheek. so bold, so brazen. little recollections, so happy, so simple. memories from the past, just as mysterious as memories from the future. only closer. warmer. full of creepy crawlies in my pockets. locked out in the thunderstorms, playing on the swings. stroke the lizards to sleep, watch them turn brown on my skin. allergic to smoke and hairspray. quicksand with bricks. that ever-so-handy oak tree. spy on Blackie. study black widows. dream of ducks and dogs. that patch of grass. behind the garage. pick out stars. never forget, never forget. embrace, embrace, embrace. 1, 2, 3, cheese. got it.

no title [afterlife]

maybe you would if you were listening. there's more than what's right in front of you. listen, listen, look, look. rising sun, sinking roots, hopeful hearts, broken spirits. joined somehow. scars have stories, most of them don't recall the pain, but the good times. go get hurt. be free, expose yourself. too many particulars? distracted, distracted, without the same effect. emerging from that in between, non-existent phase. dream-like, but with no dreams. the sound of footsteps on a beaten path. the sound of footsteps on clouds. name your children what you will, eager to leave the one print of your inner self on the world. fighting for the last straw. is it really worth it?

bite down on the plastic, six years old again, here comes the tooth fairy. golden ball slinks away, the pale light reigns once again. no struggle, it just is. so lets just come to terms. grow, grow, grow. reflect. record. nostalgic, one day extinct, and nobody remembers. famous outside your time. wealthy when it's no longer useful. look back again, shake your head. small smile. faint breeze. perspective. muscles uncoil. flutter of wings, you'll never know that feeling. you want it? perhaps one day you'll be an angel.

from the soul, to the body, through the instrument (sepia version).

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: patricia.

from the soul, to the body, through the instrument (color version).

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: patricia.

brick patterns.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: patricia.

oh, cello, my darling!

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: patricia.

no title [advice]

rapture. willing to let go, letting go. free, free, free. find this interesting...at a complete loss, trying to determine. those piano notes. rather crumpled and worn. all for some reason. fingers against paper, all for some reason. lost dreams, lost memories, lost self. this is my song, she thought. he thought. we thought. they thought. too much thinking, too purposeful, let that go. splatters of thoughts on the paper, unique, i suppose. what does your handwriting reveal about you? such a strange entry, unlike any other. needed this, needed this. forget all you know about everything, reincarnated inside yourself, changing, refreshed, new start. don't be yourself, find yourself. how is this going? testing, testing, testing, how do they do that? must know everything, look it up, so easy. let go of that, let it go like snakes and bugs. why should we recognize you? heavy, heavy, heavy. you can't tell, can't follow this stream of thoughts, something like religion or space. reverse, reverse, reverse.

now take a breath. listen to that one song. hold someone's hand. don't speak. hold your own hand, self-comfort, self-realization. independence. everyday is spring. everyday is renaissance. such similar noises. the same stream, different water, wearing down stones, changing forever. cycle back. cycle back again. read the directions. rest. enjoy. feel all things, learn the spectrum of your emotions, how far will you go? round and round and round, repeat, repeat, repeat. sleep. is that life? even when things are bad, they are good. we are home wherever we are, sleeping inside ourselves. we are magical. don't read again until tomorrow, remember those dreams, you know the ones. everything, everything. clear your throat, speak up.

I said everything.

recital flyer i designed for a friend!

This is a flyer I designed for my R.A. for her cello recital that will be coming up in a couple of weeks. I've never done anything like this before, so I thought I'd share. : )

flickr it is.

If you would like to see the film pictures I mentioned, you can see them on flickr.

www.flickr.com/emeraldstar

except nevermind...

Unfortunately, the pictures are in TIFF format and blogger won't upload them. I will try to figure out how to change this or get around it, but I'm not too sure how to do it or if it's possible. : /

Film Camera Experimentation

My dad let me play around with his 35mm film camera and I have so far processed a roll of black and white film and a roll of color, just to see how they're turning out (since I have NO idea what I'm doing). Overall, I was pretty pleased--at least they didn't ALL turn out horrible. The black and white pictures were taken around sunset on a clear day and the color pictures were taken on a rainy, humid, overcast day and didn't turn out as well as my black and white ones (although I did get a few good ones here and there). The camera seemed to have some issues focusing, so most of the color pictures were out of focus, but then again, I don't have much of a clue how to use the camera, soooooo. Yeah. Anyway, I will be posting the ones that turned out alright. Most of them are unedited, but I did some really minor tweaking to a few of them just to play and see what would happen.

impact?

these are a few of my favorite things.
wimberley, texas.
taken march 2009.

a surface shatter.

these are a few of my favorite things.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.

never unashamed.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

learning my chords.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

sounds in a hat.

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.

this is how i feel.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

strength of the wind.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

the dress: collage.

these are a few of my favorite collages.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

consonance.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

the dress.

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

ukuleles are always happy.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

mostly vertical.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

grand finale.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

shadow tattoo.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

catch me if i fall.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

at my fingertips.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

the sun in my heart.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

all is lost.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

with art and music.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

sun's glare.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

it's as though i'm not here.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

ukulele against my hip.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken april 2009.
model: kealy

you'll need a staff to get here.

these are a few of my favorite places.
san marcos, texas.
taken march 2009.
models: kealy and chelsey (myself).
*NOTE: photo taken by brittany elliff; edited by chelsey (myself).

splat.

these are a few of my favorite things.
san marcos, texas.
taken march 2009
model: chelsey (myself).

leaving this dead place behind.

these are a few of my favorite places.
san marcos, texas.
taken march 2009.
model: brittany

beside this tree.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken march 2009.
model: brittany.

fasten safety belts.

these are a few of my favorite places.
san marcos, texas.
taken march 2009.

a windy car ride.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas. (on the road)
taken march 2009.
model: kailey

bubbles all in line.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken march 2009.
model: kailey

when you wish upon a bubble.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken march 2009
model: kailey

blue tongue conquers all.

these are a few of my favorite people.
san marcos, texas.
taken march 2009.
model: samantha

there's something about rusty old trucks...

these are a few of my favorite things.
on the road...texas.
taken march 2009.

rainy day in the car.

these are a few of my favorite things.
on the road...texas.
taken march 2009.

my life is like bubbles.

these are a few of my favorite places.
oneonta, new york.
taken march 2009.
model: chelsey (myself)

no child left behind.

these are a few of my favorite things.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.

i know it will be.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: brittany

sweep me off my feet.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: brittany

is this what distress feels like?

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: brittany

we can't be on the same page.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: travis

evening magic.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: brittany

idle.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: travis

amongst trees.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: travis

a satisfying silence.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: travis

feeling boyish.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: travis

heavy concentration.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: travis

pondering the distance.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: neal

indecisive.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: neal

searching.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: neal

thinking about it.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: neal

maybe it will.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: neal

he already knows.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: scott

falling?

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: neal

what's deep within.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: neal

what are you waiting for?

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: scott

travis

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: travis

growth.

these are a few of my favorite things.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.

the art of gardening.

these are a few of my favorite things.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.

to put it simply.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: brittany

taking the past with her.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: brittany

she understands me.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: brittany

wary.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: brittany

you know what to do.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: brittany

acceptance.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: brittany

just relax.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
models: scott, neal, travis.

on the fence about it.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
models: scott, neal, travis.

mr. scott shakespeare.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: scott

briane in her element.

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
model: briane.

my stalker buddies...

these are a few of my favorite people.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
models: kealy and briane.

cool versus hot.

these are a few of my favorite things.
wimberley, texas.
taken february 2009.
models: kealy and briane.